Yup, the only bin that goes straight to landfill. This is despite me fannying around with separating all my crud into their multiplicity of binnage.

Sutton Council’s, and their new contractor Veolia, mishandling of Sutton’s refuse collection continues, here’s the latest updates….

Following the subject being raised in Prime Minister’s Question Time on Wednesday (this is true by the way) Theresa May has brought in an emergency measure. From today onwards, the UK age limit at which it is acceptable to moan about wheelie bins has been lowered from 50 down to 12.

Sutton Council have posted emergency instructions on their website, on a page entitled ‘Our New Recycling and Rubbish Service’ (I kid you not, it really is called that). The instructions are along the lines of: ‘Don’t report non-collection until your bins are two days over their collection date. If your bins are two days over their collection date then they’ll be collected on the next collection date.’ Younger readers may not have heard of a book called Catch 22.

In an attempt to stop residents taking the law into their own hands, and getting rid of their own rubbish, Sutton Council have introduced a permit system at the local dump. Also you are not allowed to walk your rubbish in, you have to queue in one of those exhaust-belching, ecosystem-buggering things with four wheels. However, if you are going to queue for the dump, then you are advised to take a sleeping bag and enough rations for seventeen days.

Apparently, Sutton Council have also extended Veolia’s ‘settling-in period before penalties’ to three months. Sutton residents will no doubt be chuffed to hear that there is no money coming back in terms of Council Tax refunds and that they may soon need Sherpas to get to the top of their soiled nappy mountains.

It should be stressed that this is not a party-political issue. Councillors stopped running councils many years ago. The highly-paid halfwits that are Council Officers do that. However, being a Councillor does still have its uses. For the Councillors it is a training exercise to be an MP (a bit like a Sixth Form Debating Society or Britain’s Got Talent). Councillors are also useful for the Council Officers to hide behind when things go wrong. A fiasco, like this one, inevitably turns political and thus the Officers can keep their heads down and hang on to their big salaries, pensions and the trips to conferences in exotic locations that you are all paying for.

However, Sutton residents should not get too upset about this situation. The plume of toxic nasties from the Beddington incinerator will probably get you long before you are eaten by a plague of rabid rats, click here to see if you’re in the firing line today.

Have a nice day.

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