The ramblings of a well-travelled and very troublesome haemorrhoid at

About Johnny The Haemorrhoid

I’m a very rotten and troublesome old pile that gets around a bit and then writes about it. I’ve also write humourous books about art and health. For practical reasons, one of which being that I can’t get a bank account, the books have to be published in the name of my pile host, John Spring. He is mostly unaware of what I get up to…apart from the itching.

This website is mostly about my travels to various places. Some of these visits have only been brief, but a low level of knowledge on any subject has never stopped me from having a strong opinion on it. As a wise man once said, ‘It is better to open your mouth and let forth a torrent of empty-headed nonsense than have the wisdom to keep quiet’….or something like that.

Anyway, there’s lots of nonsense, and a good squirt of bile, in this website. I do apologise if you live in any of the places I’ve visited and you take offence to what I say about them.

The travel pictures are all mine. When it came to picture choice, which is mostly a few per place, this presented a conundrum. Should I really be trying to show what the place is all about in just a couple of images? Hence another apology: I’m sure your city or town has wonderful parks, magnificent public spaces and stunning architecture but please don’t take it personally if I choose to accompany my article about your beautiful place with a picture of a dog-turd with a lolly-stick in it*

* Actually, there is no picture of a dog-turd with a lolly-stick in it. You just don’t see them anymore. I blame the kids of today, sticking lolly-sticks in dog-turds was good wholesome fun when I was a child.

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