Weasel the Cat was less than happy when she was presented with the four-inch blade of grass that was recently removed from her snout (see pic). The grass had become lodged in her nasal cavity after she attempted to regurgitate it unsuccessfully. The grass thus remained stuck in her nose for a day, causing Weasel to cough, sneeze and twitch.
This is not the first time that Weasel has been troubled by stuck snout-grass. In fact this was the tenth time. And if she’s not fed up of it by now, her humans certainly are.
A mewling Weasel was once again driven to the vet, in what the humans call the ‘The Box of Shame’ (the cat-carrier). Previous vet visits to remove grass have required emergency operations, ranging from £120 to an outrageous £400 at an out of hours vet. Hence Weasel’s addiction to grass has become a very expensive habit, indeed it would be cheaper if she just smoked the real stuff.
Apparently eating grass is quite normal for cats, even lions do it. They do it to help themselves vomit up something they’ve eaten that they deem indigestible. Her humans say that this has nothing to do with their recent switch from expensive branded cat food to a budget supermarket own brand. They also added that if the stupid cat’s vet bills weren’t crippling them, then they wouldn’t have had to do that in the first place.
Fortunately, on this occasion, an almighty sneeze in the surgery brought forth the tip of the blade from one of her nostrils. The vet was then able to pull the rest of the blade out gently. However, like a magician pulling a string of flags from his sleeve, the blade kept on coming and coming. When it finally came out the vet rushed off to show his colleagues. They were quite convinced that such a long piece of grass had never before emerged from the nose of such a small cat.
A new world record, possibly.
This was of small consolation to her humans, although they got off relatively lightly this time with a £55 consultation fee. If she’d sneezed ten minutes earlier they could have pulled it out themselves, for free. Her humans think she now does it on purpose to get a day out.
Despite the recent trauma and expense, Weasel remains unrepentant and was last seen nibbling at the lawn.