My new book…a very funny travel book, even though I say it myself…and for the purpose of SEO.
Forty places with something to say, and I was there to write it down.
Unexpected histories, heroes and villains, the tallest of tales and the lowest of wit.
I went to these places either on my own or with fellow travellers, friends or family. Some visits were working trips where an employer kindly paid my bills. This being the most economical way to travel the world. Free beer too, if you can get creative with your receipts.
Whatever my reason for going, and wherever I was, I always found something worth writing home about.
From Rome to Rio, from Singapore to Salzburg, I’ve experienced the heights of culture and the depths of the gutter. Please join me in enjoying both, and everything in between.
CLICK HERE FOR THE BOOK ON AMAZON UK
CLICK HERE FOR THE BOOK ON AMAZON USA
SELECTED OTHER COUNTRIES (search ‘Dirty Postcards by John Spring’ on your local Amazon)…
Extracts from Dirty Postcards. A funny travel book (once again for the purpose of SEO, honestly it is funny though).
On Cordoba, Spain…
“Our accommodation was in Cordoba’s old town, and very pleasant it was. Cobbled narrow streets, whitewashed walls and lots of patios with red geraniums in wall-hanging pots.
In Cordoba, maintaining a pleasing floral patio is a serious marker of your civic pride. I’m guessing you get put in the stocks and pelted with eggs if you let your geraniums wilt. That’s a lot of responsibility in a hot climate. When we were there, they were having their annual patio competition. I’ve no idea who won, presumably whoever’s patio had the most geraniums, or the least wilty.
The old town seemed like a clean and respectable heritage area. Therefore, I was most surprised to see a brothel operating in the building opposite our hotel. I’d only spotted it because I’d spent far too long sitting on our first-floor balcony. Otherwise, I would never have noticed the stream of older men being quickly ushered in by the madam.
You would see them emerge half an hour later, leaving as furtively as they’d arrived. I derived some great entertainment by cheerily waving them goodbye from our balcony. This was enough to make them scuttle off fairly quickly.
I then upped the stakes by waving at them with a camera in my hand. That made their scuttle turn into a sprint. Well, some of them sprinted. Those that had just shat their pants were a bit slower.”
On Las Vegas, USA…
“With reference to the slot machines, it’s true what they say. Old ladies in mobility scooters are the worst of the slotty-feeders. Some had even brought their cats with them in their front-baskets. I could hear their plaintive miaowing as their mistresses spunked their Felix budget for the month.”
On the Monitor Lizards of Pulau Ubin, Singapore…
“These venomous lizards grow up to three metres in length and their bites carry a high risk of infection, mostly from the bacteria in their mouths. They’ll eat any old rubbish and dental hygiene is not top of their priority list. So don’t try kissing one.
Monitor lizards should not be provoked, not even for a selfie. If you really can’t resist winding them up, the best way to do it is to run into the forest with a clipboard shouting that you are the monitor lizard monitor. They hate being monitored as they like to do all the monitoring.”
And once more, for SEO, it really is a very funny travel book. However, if you need more convincing then you can see all my (shortened) travel posts on this blog, by clicking here.