So, I went all the way to Menorca to see a hoopoe, perhaps the world’s stupidest looking bird. Look at the picture, it’s just plain daft….

It’s also one of the smelliest birds in the world. This is because the female secretes a foul-smelling substance from the uropygial gland, which is somewhere near its arse…unsurprisingly. This makes the hoopoe nest eye-wateringly malodorous, the purpose being is to deter predators from approaching it.

Now, far be it from me to proffer suggestions to Mother Nature, but surely not looking like you’ve just stepped out of the Rio Carnival might be a better way of blending into the background and keeping out of the way of whatever eats hoopoes.

You can tell I’m feeling somewhat bitter about this bird, mostly because I never saw one in Menorca. All the pictures of hoopoes on this page are courtesy of the royalty-free image website Pixabay. The fact that there are loads of free pictures of hoopoes being given away on that website suggests that these birds are so common that you can’t make even make a few cents by snapping one.

So where were all the little sods when I paid good money to go to Menorca, a Spanish island where you supposedly can’t walk around a corner without bumping into one?

Granted I went in February, so they may have been wintering in nearby North Africa. Quite how they would have got there though I don’t know. Flying looks to be the last thing they were designed for. Maybe they hitched a ride on one of the many ferries that dock at Mahon, the capital city of the island where I was staying.

In February, Menorca was somewhat deserted. The resident population of the island is only around 98,000, not enough to fill the Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona. The residents often quote this interesting footy-related statistic, it’s almost as if they are proud of it. I don’t know whether it’s true, or not. Perhaps they should all have a day-trip to Barcelona to find out.

However, they probably shouldn’t do it in the summer. For one thing there will be no football to watch and secondly, they need to be at home rustling up Full English Breakfasts for the annual invasion of holidaymakers. The island’s population doubles in July and August when all the empty coastal towns reopen their restaurants and hotels to welcome the visitors’ vacation money.

Maybe this is when the hoopoe comes back to the island to feast on dropped ice-creams and soak up the admiring glances of the tourists. I can imagine it’s a fairly vain bird that craves an appreciative audience.

The natives, on the other hand, are probably fairly blasé about the poncy-looking hoopoe and more inclined to marvel at the impressive Red Kites and Booted Eagles swirling around in the winter skies. It has to be said that they are proper birds. I saw loads of those. Maybe these predators had eaten all the hoopoes. If so, it serves them right.

To make up for the lack of hoopoes I did manage to photograph a duck down by Mahon harbour. At least I think it’s a duck, it could be a goose. Or it could be a strange mixture of the two, and a completely new species I’ve just discovered. If so, I shall call it a ‘Red-Snouted Guck’.

Incidentally, bird-watching is my latest hobby. I’m not very good at it yet.

To see all my other Spanish adventures click here.