People of Britain, I didn’t vote. Okay, before you tell me that people died for our right to vote (and indeed I was stood at Tattenham Corner at Epsom racecourse on Saturday where Emily Davison did just that) let’s think about politics today. Ask yourself…do today’s politicians want to change the world for the better?

One or two exceptions may do..Dennis Skinner (MP for Bolsover) and perhaps even Jeremy Corbyn (he has been on demos and he does have a beard).

So, as we have a couple of potential left-wing world-changers there, let’s look at Labour first…

Labour and politics changed under Blair. They became career politicians, they discovered PR, they saw what Thatcher had done and began to run themselves like a business and they eased out the embarrassing left-wingers. The majority of Labour MPs are Blairites (sounds like something out of Doctor Who), and that’s why Corbyn won’t last five minutes, even if Labour do win.

The Conservatives….still living in awe of Thatcher and living in a dogmatic world that thinks things for the common good (NHS, public transport, benefits, key manufacturing industries) are no good. They think these things would be much better handled in the private sector i.e. their benefactors and their mates in the City. If the latter screw-up then they’ll find ways to bail them out because the financial sector is all we have left, and if that goes tits-up now we’re really buggered.

The Liberal Democrats….basically they’ll say anything that will get them a vote so they can have a say in a hung parliament. Last time that happened they went back on it all.

The other parties….UKIP, Greens, SNP, raving loonies…yup, perhaps they do genuinely want to change the world for what they see as ‘the better’..but, let’s face it, they have sod-all chance of doing it.

So we’re left with the three main parties and the majority of ‘today’s politicians’. Have you ever met one? Actually you probably have, maybe in the last few weeks when they want your vote. Mine even sent me a hand-signed letter (or it pretended to be, nice try Tom Brake). They tend to be dreadful people, and most have them have never had a proper job. When a politician wins their seat, do they set about changing the world?…nope, they set about ensuring they and their party get voted in next time.

Politics in this country is a sixth-form debating society. Point-scoring, sniping and spin is what they actually see their job as being. It pays well and it has plenty of perks. We nearly got the buggers on the expenses scandal, but they wriggled out of that one. Indeed they even gave themselves a massive pay-rise when there was a public-sector pay freeze. Just so they didn’t have to claim illegal expenses any more. Go figure, we fell for it.

And then we have Welsh Assemblies, Scottish Assemblies…even wannabe local politician councilors pompously call themselves ‘cabinet members’. Politics is now a massive industry that costs us a fortune, and MPs are the higher paid celebrities amongst its many employees.

However, you could say that the public gets what the public deserves and given that politics and this election is so personality-based perhaps Simon Cowell, not David Dimbleby, should be running it.

It’s a bit late now, but if you want your politics to be more than X-Factor and think the whole lot of them should be a given a ‘real-world’ wake-up call, don’t vote. Let’s see the turn-out rate at 10%. Send a message that says we don’t believe in any of you arseholes any more. Okay, if you don’t vote, you might end up with a hung parliament of idealists and extremists sneaking into power through the back door….er, come to think of it, that may make things a bit more interesting. Love him or hate him, Trump is excellent entertainment….still an arsehole though.